Fear and Intimidation

This past weekend was relaxed but enjoyable nonetheless. On Saturday I went on my daily run (or at least, try-to-be-daily run) and I started to think about fears. When I go running it's partially because I want to stay in shape and partially because it helps me process things in my life. For some reason, the topic of fear was at the forefront of my thoughts and so I began to ponder them. I started to list the fears in my mind that I have let take hold of me both here in my journey abroad and in my life back home. I began to think that if I desire to overcome fear I must first identify it and admit it's existence; only then can I face it and overcome it.

I fear failure
I fear disappointing others
I fear disappointing myself
I fear being wrong
I fear losing people
I fear meeting people
I fear being vulnerable
I fear not knowing
I fear fear

It was refreshing to acknowledge. It helped me realize how with God's strength I can and have faced these things on a daily basis.

As I continued my run I found myself at the front gate of the Canterbury Cemetery. I know it sounds a bit morbid, but I thought it was beautiful, especially in the rain, so I decided to walk around. It was peaceful. It was nice to be in a peaceful place for a time. I returned on Monday and took some pictures to remind myself of that peace and beauty.

On Sunday, I went to City Church Canterbury for the morning service, and it was lovely (some English adjective are starting to catch on for me) to hear the pastor speak on Intimidation. Huh. It's funny how God will repeat things for us, just to make sure we hear it. After my run on the previous day, I was sure to listen up, despite how tired I was from the 3am fire alarm the night before.



He spoke about Numbers 13, where Moses sends some men into Canaan, which God promised to the Israelites, so that they could see who lived there and witness their strength or weakness. Nevertheless, the men Moses sent were shaking in their sandals when they returned. They were intimidated by the strength of the men in Canaan, thus, they didn't trust that God could come through on His promise. For this, they suffered in the desert. The point was that we too often cower away in fear even though God is there by our side. I tried to take God's deliberate message to me on fear as a reminder while I am here (and for when I come home) that I should not let cowardice hold me down.


That was the highlight of my weekend. Next weekend I will be traveling to Barcelona, Spain with Spencer, and I am so excited to get to see my friend Janice! I hope you all have a blessed week. Cheers!